I'm so glad you're here! Welcome to my internal world. It is my honor to share pieces of my heart and soul with you. I hope you feel safe here. I hope you feel seen here. I hope we all heal here.

Waves of Grief cont...

1 day ago

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Playing out the same-ole self-sabotage, never-ask-for-help operating, adn wondering why I'm still trapped..won't ever get me where I want to be, no matter how many times I try. Stop setting your own traps and wondering why you keep getting stuck. Except, with BIG, big compassion for yourself. 🩵😘

Music

1 day ago

The Body Keeps It All

I wrote this years ago, drained and lost in my own body, so tired of being who I am. Sometimes I wish I could live in someone else's body--one without networks of knots that I have to use all my energy to untie just to feel like getting out of bed, just to feel like I'm a human worthy of anything at all. One where I don't feel betrayed by my own existence. One that allows me to live free from the constraints of the trauma it has withstood. I often wish I was different; I wish

"As Is"

Nov 2, 2025

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Writing has been a gift in my life,

a way to process, feel and move energy through and out of my body. I've been writing since I was in 5th grade when I wrote my first poem. I remember a teacher finding it and being blown away while I sat quietly, not quite understanding this response or why she wanted me to type it up and frame it. I wrote it about my mom after she left and when she read it weeks later, she sobbed. I don't remember much of that time, but I know writing helped me to express things that I didn't know how to say out loud, before I realized I had anything to say at all. It helped me to...

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Lil’ something in the #LoonaticProductions studiooooo. @rajmaitra did his thing in here! The acoustics are 10/10. A+. 5 stars. Produced by me😎

The same ole self-sabotage, never-ask-for-help operation, and wondering why I’m still trapped— it won’t ever get me where I want to be, no matter how many times I try.

Stop setting your own traps and wondering why you keep getting stuck. Except, with BIG big compassion for yourself. 🩵😘

#loonaticproductions #original #songwriter #vocalist

JesseOnRecord.com, “Grief comes in waves, yes, but never in stages like everybody says. Grief comes in a spiral, finding its way back to you over and over and over, year after year after year, sometimes deeper, sometimes smaller, but most certainly, it will always come back. It lives here, in the tissues, coming and going, running in circles, up and down the layers and layers of heartbreak. It comes in waves, yes, and in buckets of shame and sadness, in flickers of hope, and gut punches of wanting anything other than this part of you to be missing.”

FULL PASSAGE —> JesseOnRecord.com

#original #songwriter #originalmusic #jesseonrecord #healing #innerchildhealing #motherwound #grief #livinggrief #grieving #wavesofgrief

Just a lil something;

“I wrote this years ago, drained and lost in my own body, so tired of being who I am. Sometimes I wish I could live in someone else’s body—one without networks of knots that I have to use all my energy to untie just to feel like getting out of bed, just to feel like I’m a human worthy of anything at all. One where I don’t feel betrayed by my own existence. One that allows me to live free from the constraints of the trauma it has withstood….”#original #songwriter #originalmusic #jesseonrecord #thebodykeepsthescore #healing

Full passage on JesseOnRecord.com 🩵

Grief is so complex and can be so huge and so heavy and feel impossible to hold. But it gets better. And then worse again but it always gets better 🩵 my future self sent this song to me; it’s a rough version but I’m sharing it anyway 🙂

Read the passage on my website, JesseOnRecord.com 🩵

#itgetsbetter #thistooshalłpass #grief #griefrecovery #healing #grieving #livinggrief

Full Passage on JesseOnRecord.com🩵

“Any wound but the mother wound” I said to myself, writhing on the couch in my air bnb, crying and gasping for air, “I would take any wound over the mother wound.” The pain is felt beyond any words I could ever find. Heavy in my chest, sick-to-my-stomach, ‘please erase me from the earth”, twisted tight like a towel mid-wringing, physical, cutting pain. Though I may try, it is indescribable.

Here is a snippet of my attempt🩵

#original #songwriter #originalmusic #innerchildhealing #motherwound #innerchildhealing

Full passage is on my website JesseOnRecord.com, link in bio🩵

In December of 2024 I left MN to spend 2 months in California. Just before I left, I found my Mother Wound; a heavy, dark boulder that lives inside my chest and weighs heavy on my abdomen.“Any wound but the mother wound” I said to myself, writhing on the couch in my air bnb, crying and gasping for air, “I would take any wound over the mother wound.” The pain is felt beyond any words I could ever find. Heavy in my chest, sick-to-my-stomach, ‘please erase me from the earth”, twisted tight like a towel mid-wringing, physical, cutting pain. Though I may try, it is indescribable.
My mom carries one, too, and her mom, and her grandma and all the generations before.
While I was in California at the beginning of 2025, I held it and wished I could crack it open. I wished I could yank it from my mother’s chest and throw it off a mountain. She may never understand how deep her wounds are or where they came from. She may never have the chance, or the drive, to turn some of the rocks into sand, and it breaks my heart. She didn’t deserve this heavy, silent, gut-wrenching sadness, and neither did I, but this curse wasn’t hers to break. It’s mine.
I wrote this ‘song’ for her. For me, my little sisters and all the daughters and children with sore shoulders from carrying backpacks full of rocks they never asked for. And I wrote the passage below to help me make sense of the insidiousness of the centuries of the existence of these boulders.
#original #motherwound #healing #innerchildhealing #singer #writer #songwriter #jesseonrecord

A mash up! I’ve never had this happen before, writing 2 different songs and realizing they’re meant to go together.

Life isn’t supposed to be easy, but we are all right where we are supposed to be.🩷

Covid is kicking my ass but I miss creating so much😭

#mashup #singersongwriter #singersofinstagram #original #workinprogress #create #write

Here, have 1 minute of Daya’s right ear. I call it her Nemo ear, the other one is fine but she had surgery for a hematoma so it’s not as spunky as her right ear😂 #pitbull #pitbullsofinstagram #nemo #nemoear #goofy #pitbullbehavior #oneearopen

Whew, this one is tough for me to post. To you my dear, to the precious little peanuts in your life, to all the people whose normal has always been dysfunction & dystopia, you are not alone🩵

There is an immense grief that sits on top of the cards that held us hostage.

I know it all too well, and I wrap my whole heart around you if you do, too. 🩷

#innerchild #innerchildhealing #cardswearedealt #grief #protectkids #original #originalmusic #discover #vocalist #songwriter

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I'm so glad you're here! Welcome to my internal world. It is my honor to share pieces of my heart and soul with you.​ I hope you feel safe here. I hope you feel seen here. I hope we all heal here.

Recent Posts

Waves of Grief cont...

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The Body Keeps It All

Writing has been a gift in my life,

Keep Up With Me☺

​

I'm so glad you're here! Welcome to my internal world. It is my honor to share pieces of my heart and soul with you. I hope you feel safe here. I hope you feel seen here. I hope we all heal here.

Keep Up
With Me☺